When to Share Your Relationship Status

There are no hard and fast rules in life, so…

Just kidding, there’s a hard and fast rule here. Your relationship status needs to be in your profile. If it’s the kind of app that lets you set your relationship status, it should be there AND in your bio. If not, it should be one of the first things prospective matches see.

This will sound like overkill, but I also generally bring up my partner in a context-appropriate way within the first day of talking with someone, just to be absolutely certain we are all on the same page. (You would be amazed at how few people actually read more than the first three words of a dating profile bio!)

I hear you asking, “But, Adrienne. Why? No one is matching with me, and I think it’s because I’m in a relationship!”

Would you get more matches if you didn’t indicate your relationship status? Yes. Yes, you would. No question.

Do you actually want more matches? No. You want more dates. And you know who gets dates? Guys who don’t come off like shady cheaters. You know who comes off like shady cheaters? Guys who wait until they’ve been messaging someone for a few days to say, “Oh, by the way, I have a girlfriend, but we’re open and it’s totally legit and I’m definitely not a shady cheater, I swear.”

Matches can feel like the holy grail when you’re dating as a nonmonogamous man, but matching with people who have zero interest in dating you is a waste of your time and theirs, and it’s disrespectful.

It’s equally disrespectful to cajole or harangue women who say they are not interested in buying what you’re selling. So, if somehow someone missed the memo about your relationship status and matched with you, don’t beg them to keep talking to you once they realize you’re not what they’re looking for. Honestly, that’s disrespectful to both of you! You have better things to do than beg someone to spend time with you.

Wondering how to explain your relationship status in a dating profile? Contact me for help.